Dealing online dating rejection

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Here are the Internet-appropriate ways to say no: Note that Internet dating sites vary in the sophistication of their features.

On some sites, the person knowsthat you received his or her e-mail and read it.

Reporting abuse to the site is far more effective than just blocking a person’s messages (a feature offered on most sites).

However, if you’re a drama king or queen, don’t practice your art of “the sky is falling.” If you fabricate e-mails and try to damage someone’s reputation, you’ll run foul of several civil and criminal laws — maybe even antiterrorism federal law.

The best way to avoid this sort of thing is to kill people with kindness, even if they don’t deserve it.

Say that you’re in the midst of a phone call with a prospect (after some e-mail exchanges), and you realize that he or she just isn’t a match.

Spotting these people is tough because they seem so genuine and enthusiastic. They express assumptions about the depth of your relationship with them long before it’s appropriate.

When your goal is to make a clean break from the person who won’t let go (or any prospect, for that matter), never argue or defend yourself.

From then on, your approach is no reply, no comment, no nothing. If you think you have a problem prospect, even if you’re anonymous, don’t feel uncomfortable reporting the situation to the site operator (usually under abuse or Webmaster).

The appropriate actions to take include Occasionally, you’ll run into people who just won’t stop contacting you even after you’ve rejected them.

Most often, people don’t let go because they’ve developed fantasies from your photo and essay.

Granted, for some people, a more heavy-handed approach is necessary. Polite is good, but if it doesn’t work, try sterner and firmer. If you need further coaching, go to your local electric company’s customer service department and see how it handles you when you try to dispute a bill by saying, “I never used that electricity.” Many appropriate ways are available to encourage someone to move along. This article points out the major ways to do so in specific situations.

Say that you get an e-mail from someone, and you can tell immediately that you have no interest in communicating with that person.

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